Clous Sinota (Division 3 Captain)

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Clous Sinota (Division 3 Captain)

Post by Clous on Fri Sep 03, 2010 10:21 am

Basic Information

Name: Clous Sinota

Age: Appears to be around late teens 18-19. Actual age 122

Gender: Male

Division: 3

Seat: Captain

Looks:

Spoiler:
Clous has white hair, with athletic features. He's about 5'9. Along with the sleeveless shinigami uniform, Clous wears two black guards on both of his wrist (which bear his clan insignia; a single feathered wing), and black Tabi boots.

His eyes are a light brown color, which actually are a more golden hue at night. His hair is usually in a messy fashion but on occasion he will spike it into some elaborate style or another. His Zanpakuto is kept on his back usually but will sometimes be switched to his left hip of his lower back at a diagonal angle. On occasion he'll wear a black Haori, while his clan insignia in white over the regular captains Haori.

If ever on a mission within the world of the living and a gigai is needed Clous' wear is fairly simple yet stylish. He's come to a liking of sleeveless hoodies and often wears a black one with a skull over the chest and two angel wings sprouting form behind the head. Other than this a white T-shirt and black jeans suffice for the rest of his attire.

When lounging around his home his attire rarely differs from the shinigami uniform but at times he likes to wear mixes of white red and black.

Allignment: Lawful Neutral

Personality: Clous seems to be cold hearted and detached from the outside world. Most of the time he acts as if he doesn't care much for others. But beneath this icy exterior he actually tries his hardest to protect those close to him, those are also the only ones he expresses himself to. His cold exterior is truly just a front considering he cares deeply for those around him. However he shows no mercy for the foolish or weak minded.

Though largely viewed as apathetic and full of pride for his family name. He is fiercely devoted to upholding law and order within the soul society and putting down all forms that attempt to disrupt peace. Be it his own personal peace, or the peace of those around him.

While most of the time he seems to be apathetic he suffers from turmoil within . When not kept in check his own personal emotions could rule over him though it rarely happens it can obviously lead to trouble. Not a strong believer of those who are outgoing or too trusting of others, he sees them as fools striving for attention. But maybe his point of view is wrong? He is extremely biased to such thoughts but who knows?


Zanpakuto Information

Zanpakuto Name: Telitsue

Zanpakuto Looks:
Spoiler:

Zanpakuto Description:
Telitsue is a lightning based zanpakuto, which stems from Clous' own soul and personality traits. The arches of his tale are embedded in his blade.



Released Zanpakuto Description:

Dijin: Allows Clous to move up to 1.5 times his own normal reaction, and shunpo speed. However the Shunpo is more of an illusion, it creates several after images of Clous which trail about foot from his actual position. This is to throw his enemy off guard. This ability is not indefinite. While in use with a released state Clous' wings serve as a counter, by dissolving in a glowing blue spiritual particle dust. As such this ability is limited. The max amount of time Clous has been able to sustain is a total of four minutes non-stop. (six posts) But Clous usually limits this to small bursts of speed when needed. (divided into two posts each use)

Strike: Clous gains the ability to convert his reitsue or surrounding reishi into lightning allowing multiple uses in battle. The longer charged the stronger the attack is. By holding onto the energy and steadily collecting and adding to it the force at which its delivered is added upon as more power is pout behind it. It's collected into the palm or various other parts of Clous' body and fired after the desired amount of energy is built.

Zanpakuto Release Phrase: Crash down from the heavens!

Released Zanpakuto Looks:
Spoiler:
A black wing grows on his left shoulder, granting Clous limited flight abilities. Also while using Dijin the wing will slowly disintegrate as a time limit of use. Clous' eyes also turn red widening his senses and allowing him to see his enemy no matter what speed they move at. However how fast he reacts to them depends on his own ability to fight

Zanpakuto Spirit:
Spoiler:
Telitsue is the regulator of Clous' inner self and keeps him in check during those rare moment when he's under too much pressure and ready to snap. He also helps Clous control his flow of reitsu while using Dijin. Which is one problem he has yet to overcome on his own.

Zanpakuto Realm:

The first is an endless dessert with countless swords scattered across the land with nothing else but more dessert in sight. The second realm is constantly at night, and this is where Telitsue resides At the center of a grass field there is a single ancient Japanese style castle. It's constantly raining, sometimes even storms a little with thunder and lightning. However the appearance of the area is shown to change depending on certain situation usually having to do with Clous' own feelings.


Bankai Information

Bankai Description: Rajin Telitsue (Thunder God Telitsue)" The blade opens and reveals its true power. Also when these wings disintegrate while using Dijin a second pair made purely of lightning replace them. But once that happens Dijin is no longer usable unless another compounding ability is activated.

Duel with the clouds: Telitsue takes the form of lightning and fires itself into the sky. from that moment Clous is able to control the lightning with a concentrated connected flow of reitsu. Usually directed with his hands, however this state can easily be broken by directly attacking and successfully injuring Clous, or just breaking his focus. In this form Dijin cannot be used at all.

Wings of Light: An automatic ability that takes place after Dijin has been used up while in bankai. Instead of instantly becoming drained Clous's black angelic wings are replaced by arches of lighting which form into wings. These can then serve multiple purposes. (Example: The forks of lightning can arch in front of him making a some form of defensive wall in front of Clous. This however has gaps in between it and any form of a higher energy than his own can break through it.

The wings of light themselves can also be used as a weapon, by weaving and arching through the air Clous can concentrate the tendrils of lightning on several targets at once greately increasing his full awareness of the area. However using this ability for extended periods of time can cause fatal damage to Clous and sometimes using it isn’t worth the risk, nor the pain that’s inflicted afterwards to his back.


Bankai Looks:

Spoiler:

Alterations: Clous is able to fire a strike without much of a limit. Four wings (one on either side) grow from Clous' back and gives him improved agility without the use of Dijin, but also increase his time limit with Dijin. (8 posts tops)

Kido:

Cannon Kido up to 89 without incantations....Wondering if I need to fill ut the form for every kido or if that's just for custom kido?))

Name: (The name of the Kido)
Type: (Hadou / Bakudo / Healing)
Number: (The number of the Kido, Higher numbers are more powerful.)
Incantation: (The incantation of the kido, saying this increases the power of the kido.)
Element: (The element of the Kido, if it has one.)
Description: ( How the kido works and what it does.)

Techniques:

Technique Name: Shunpo
Technique Type: Movement
Degree of difficulty: Expert
Description: a movement technique that allows the user to move faster than the eye can follow. The focal point that determines the bases of this technique is speed. As speed is the main point of the technique the method is best characterized by how fast one can get from point A to point B in the least amount of steps. Training and skill are what determines how fast a user of Shunpo can move; those of little skill in the technique or those who haven't used it an extended amount of time would obviously be out of practice, causing those individuals to be considerably slower, which requires the use of more steps to move the same distance and become winded far easier in a shorter amount of time

Technique Name: Utsusemi
Technique Type: Movement
Degree of difficulty: Expert
Description: It allows for a movement at great speed leaving an afterimage behind. The afterimage may even appear to have taken damage

History and RP Sample

History:
Spoiler:
Over all it is easily noted that Clous is of a noble lineage. He grew up in a family of shinigami, being the offspring of two talented warriors allot what expected from him. After a while his parents were well weaved into the soul society, and now Clous was attending the academy. He was fairly adept in using Kido, but his true strength lie within his sword skill and mastery of speed. He often found Kendo to be a well balanced form of swordsman ship. But it didn’t fit him well enough. So Clous started taking up other sword arts and adding twists to it to combine with kendo. Eventually sometime before graduation he had taken up a style that took advantage of his strengths and shielded against his weaknesses.

Soon he learned how to fight on equal ground with seated officers by using his new form. But many knew what it was, and for sure could see it for what it really was. A crutch, but it did its job effectively enough in keeping his hand eye reactions and overall movements well paced. Clous eventually grew out of the style and took up a few more difficult forms and sets further expanding his knowledge. As a shinigami he was still considered green. But the fact still stood, many expected a lot out of him. His progression was indeed something that others were always watching, and something his parents were proud of.

It was close to graduation day, Clous was ready for his future roles and seemed to be a normal guy with dreams of his own. But it seems tragedy always likes to strike at those moments. It was quickly revealed to Clous that his parents were killed in action by a rouge shinigami. From that day forward Clous seemed to change completely. He separated himself from his friends, he became intent on finding the rouge shinigami and end his life. Even though it went against everything his parents taught him.

Clous graduated and joined division six rising through the ranks as he started to get through his missions faster and faster each time. He eventually learned his shikai and started to develop his skills. It was then that his clan was being challenged for its title. Without the head of the clan present the Sinota clan would be striped of its noble title. He was eventually switched to division five where he stayed for less than a month. As a part of Division five, Clous was a seated officer, the sixth seat. It was during this time that he had also officially become the head of the clan. For once things seemed to be looking up for the young being.

Once his term with Division five was up Clous was swapped to division two where he became the third seat. And joined the special forces on the side. He learned of how they worked and studied their methods. He found himself becoming attached to that single squad, and more and more devoted to it's members. Then the day came when Clous was promoted to the second divisions lieutenant position. Though he didn't approve of the circumstances. The last vice captain was killed in action defending squad-mates from a hollow in the world of the living.

Once Clous was formally given the position and had settled in with the new tasks and responsibilities he began to strive for furthering his bond with his division mates as well as his Captain. previously he had done little to really become close with them aside from what was needed. Always keeping a bit a distance, just enough for a buffer. He hated being emotionally attached to anything only to have it killed and stripped away. But his views soon began to change as he became more and more concerned for others. His quest to become stronger led to him

Clous couldn’t allow everything his family had accomplished go to waste. He quickly took the seat at the head of the family name challenging anyone to take it from him. So far no one has done anything to challenge him other than make a few threats. He was later on shuffled around again. It was true that a lot of roles were switched around and that there was one hell of a void to fill.

After a few more years it was revealed that the Rouge Shinigami was actually a team mate of his parents who had become a Vizard. Apparently the rouge shinigami had lost his mind after witnessing the death of his allies and lost control of the hollow in himself which was kept secret. He eventually lost control over it and killed Clous' parents. Clous still didn’t view it as "good enough for him". It was just an excuse, if he ever found the man he would kill him.

With that resolve in mind Clous began his training for his Bankai at the Age of sixty. He struggled for months but eventually succeed and his abilities with Telitsue reached an all time high for the first time in a long time. Receiving a new level of respect from his Captain Clous felt proud, but still seething with hatred and thoughts of revenge. But now there were gaps to fill as casualties started to climb a bit.

Once again Clous was shuffled around, along with the position of Captain for Division three. He went on with this position for a short while. Given the almost unlucky streak this division has had with its missions, and Clous learned to walk on thin ice. He eventually gained the trust of his division and worked with them to keep order and improved the division greatly.

After a while, having already spent quite some time with the division and well versed in the squads dealings already Clous was ready. Settling in didn’t take long at all. He currently heads the Division itself poised and ready for what ever may come their way. As well as holds a close relationship with the veteran members of Division two whom he trusts greatly, and likes to work with them when he can.

RP Sample:

Spoiler:
Kite sighed watching the sun set from the roof of the division three barracks. A lot has changed over the years, slowly things were moving and the mainstream was changing once again. The flow of time and the blemishing way it effected reality was something that always amused Kite. To someone like him, time was precious but something easily bent. The thought of it annoyed him, but there wasn't anything he could really do about it. He wasn't a god after all.

He looked down seeing how the training exercise was coming along. Clous spent his time training these men as if they were in squad two. Since they worked so closely together it wouldn't be so odd for them to know the tactics and move as one. That insured they two squads flowed together without any problems. Besides Clous himself still held a fondness for division 2.

f it were up to him he would still be with the squad regardless of what rank they gave him. But he was needed here with Division three, and that's where he was stay until he was dead or they found someone better. more concerned with the formation of his division. There were spots constantly being switched and filled by the higher ups. Yet Clous had still not found a group that worked well enough together that insured survival. Once he had that he would put in a request for the shuffling to stop.

Besides how could one get used to such and learn to trust an ally when they were never there for more than a year? It was annoying and Clous would have liked to have a nice steady group he could trust easily with his life. They ones who would defend him and in return he defends them. Was that too much to ask for, but there was always that one little thing about Clous. Part of him simply didn't give a damn anymore.


Last edited by Clous on Fri Oct 15, 2010 10:12 pm; edited 13 times in total
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Re: Clous Sinota (Division 3 Captain)

Post by :.Daydreamer.: on Sat Sep 04, 2010 3:36 pm

How goes it, bro. Couple of things.

  • Can you put your images in Spoiler tags? We just prefer it that way, lol. Keeps things neat.
  • Definitely going to need more to the Personality and Looks if you're going for Captain.
  • The Kido up to 90 without Incantations is a no go. 89 is the highest you can go in your Division. Only those in the 4th and 5th can go higher.
  • I'm kind of on the fence about your Bankai. Not that it's not possible, but rather I question its' effectiveness. Yes, Lightning reaches the ground in nearly an instant, but many are going to be able to simply evade it with Sonido or Shunpo. Beef it up. Razz

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Re: Clous Sinota (Division 3 Captain)

Post by Clous on Sat Sep 04, 2010 9:22 pm

Edited

...not exactly sure how much more you want me to add. If it's not enough just let me know and I'll work on it.
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Re: Clous Sinota (Division 3 Captain)

Post by Clous on Tue Sep 07, 2010 9:28 pm

*Bump

Yay or nay?
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Re: Clous Sinota (Division 3 Captain)

Post by Traca Carmesim on Tue Sep 07, 2010 10:59 pm

I'll have a look at this soon enough, please expect a post before the end of tomorrow.
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Re: Clous Sinota (Division 3 Captain)

Post by Traca Carmesim on Wed Sep 08, 2010 11:01 am

Looks
I don't think wings are appropriate for the Bleach universe, you can add it to your release but otherwise please stick to typical human traits.

Zanpakuto Description
You can put more description into it than that.

Release


Dijin: Allows Clous to move up to 1.5 times his own normal reaction

I feel like this could be easily abused to allow you to dodge any attack that is targeted at you by simply saying that your enhanced reaction speed enables you to dodge the attack and suffer no harm which would bleed into Godmodding territory. Is there anything to ensure that won't happen?


, and shunpo speed.

Shunpo doesn't really increase in speed and have much of an effect, its a fast movement that blurs you when you move, increasing that has no real effect I could think of. If theres a specific effect your aiming for, please clarify.


(it grows with him, the faster he gets the faster Dijin gets.)

What is 'Dijin'? You haven't even mentioned that besides the technique title. And remove the growth part, it could lead to abuse by saying the Zanpakuto is faster than it was when it was approved and thats a no-go.


The max amount of time Clous has been able to sustain is a total of four minutes non-stop. (let’s just say six posts I guess)

Just make it say the max time is 6 posts and make it look more professional.


But Clous usually limits this to small bursts of speed when needed. When not used with a release Clous can only use the ability for a short amount of time given its drain. (three posts)

I'm sorry, this confuses me, how can you have a 6 post and a 3 post limit? If i'm not understanding please clarify and explain this so I can grasp what you're trying to do here.


Strike: Clous gains the ability to convert his spiritual energy into lightning allowing multiple uses in battle.

Is it natural lightning or made of reiatsu, reishi, riryoku?


The longer charged the stronger the attack is.

Please quantify this is effective Kido levels or something of the like, per post = +X effective Kido number, and what is the base amount of strength? Can you take other actions while charging your ability? How do you charge it?


Hado 4 can be added to help strengthen this. It's also rumored that kido was the inspiration for this attack.

How does Hadou #4 effect it specifically? And a Zanpakuto ability can't be inspired by a Kido, a Zanpakuto is created with its abilities so you'd have all these abilities set in stone before you even knew what Kido were.


A black wing grows on his left shoulder, granting Clous limited flight abilities. Also while using Dijin the wing will slowly disintegrate as a time limit of use. Clous' eyes also turn red widening his senses and allowing him to see his enemy no matter what speed they move at. However how fast he reacts to them depends on his own ability to fight

This needs to go in the Zanpakuto abilities, not in its physical description. All Shinigami can 'fly' without the need for wings so theres no really a point in having that ability beyond being able to fly even in high reishi environments, but I'll leave that up to you if you still want to keep it.

Bankai


However in this state Clous is unable to use Dijin.

Shikai abilities are overwhelmed by Bankai abilities so you couldn't use it anyways.


Duel with the clouds: Telitsue takes the form of lightning and fires itself into the sky.

First off, your Zanpakuto spirit shouldn't be taking a physical form without some very special conditions. Also, spirits have a gender, I wouldn't recommend addressing your spirit as an 'it', that would be a very significant bar to achieving 'Bankai' in-character. If you refer to your spirit as 'it' in your application that could spill over into roleplay and using that term I would personally come in and post in your topic to tell you your Bankai was locked for the rest of the topic for failure to grasp the basics of your Zanpakuto spirit and offending your spirit. Nip it in the bud.


from that moment Clous is able to control the lightning with a concentrated connected flow of reitsu.

Needs more detail, you're making lightning? How so? How quickly? How much? Natural or artificial? Etc.


When this happens his speed is doubled.

2x Speed...I'm rather iffy on that but I'll let it slide if there are no other objections from anyone else on the matter.


The wings of light themselves can also be used as a weapon, by weaving and arching through hte air Clous can concentrate the tendrils of lightning on several targets at once greately increasing his full awareness of the area. However Using this ability for extended periods of time can cause fatal damage to Clous and sometimes using it isnt worth the risk, nor the pain.

I understand none of this, could you please explain it to me?

Bankai; Alterations
This is for physical looks and alterations, not additional abilities, move the abilities where they belong.

RP Sample
Is that how you usually post? Thats what an RP Sample is for and I don't believe that.

Exhibit A

Exhibit B

Exhibit C

--------------------------

Spell and grammar check your whole app please also.
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Re: Clous Sinota (Division 3 Captain)

Post by Clous on Wed Sep 08, 2010 12:26 pm

I'll get this done by tonight..and as for the RP sample...I can link you if you want XP infact I think I will..you can just look around the site for my posts since the place is dead now. IDK if its archived or still hanging around somewhere, best bet would be to look up my username and then ghost around my topics.

My topics at MOS

Dragon Eyes training topic/used as RP sample here
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Re: Clous Sinota (Division 3 Captain)

Post by Traca Carmesim on Wed Sep 08, 2010 1:35 pm

A training topic is an abnormal posting style because you have a required number of words, I did take the liberty of looking around the site and your posts didn't differ a great deal from the topics I've seen though you've increased from 1-2 paragraphs to a round-about 3 paragraphs a post. Regardless, if you insist on keeping your RP Sample as is you're aware that you will be expected to post at or around that level consistently, correct?
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Re: Clous Sinota (Division 3 Captain)

Post by Clous on Wed Sep 08, 2010 1:41 pm

Yeah...I'm trying to get back into hte swing of rping like that. I used to a few years ago but for somereason I'm too direct to make things long and flashy =/ So I guess that would be more of a goal than my actual realistic daily post by post gauge...
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Re: Clous Sinota (Division 3 Captain)

Post by Traca Carmesim on Wed Sep 08, 2010 1:54 pm

Then please edit your RP Sample to reflect your intended average so we'll know what to expect out of you while you're posting on this site and better be able to gauge your abilities and your appropriate site placement.
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Re: Clous Sinota (Division 3 Captain)

Post by Clous on Wed Sep 15, 2010 2:10 am

Sorry about this...work/school is kicking my ass right now. Give me a little bit to get used to it and I should be back to normal activity.
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Re: Clous Sinota (Division 3 Captain)

Post by Traca Carmesim on Sat Sep 18, 2010 11:56 pm

When you've made the appropriate edits just let me know and I'll have another look.
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Re: Clous Sinota (Division 3 Captain)

Post by Clous on Fri Oct 08, 2010 3:03 pm

Edits in work for the most part I'm simi done need to address a few things first. As for spell check that will have to wait till I'm at a comp that can use word. For somereason mine just isn't working anymore.
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Re: Clous Sinota (Division 3 Captain)

Post by Traca Carmesim on Sat Oct 09, 2010 2:35 pm

I'd recommend using Google Chrome if you have spelling difficulties, it will auto-correct your mistakes as well as being a very high quality browser all around, its the one I personally use.
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Re: Clous Sinota (Division 3 Captain)

Post by Clous on Sun Oct 10, 2010 6:09 pm

For the most part I think I'm done.

As for those wings of light...jsut think of it as forked lightning as it comes from the sky. ONly difference s this goes up into the air and then branches out on its way back down...its more of a lag abilty. Somethign you would use if you have alot of room, othrewise its useless.

The wing thing was a change only apparent after Shikai release. He's not like that all the time. The use for the wing is explained.

As far as controling lightning with his hands, using a stream of reitsu. Thing of that puppet master jutsu style stuff. It's like that. Other than that I've toned things down, removed and edited a bit. I still need to do spell check but I'll get t othat afte reverythign else is fixed.
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Re: Clous Sinota (Division 3 Captain)

Post by Clous on Thu Oct 14, 2010 4:29 pm

Alright...time to chew me out
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Re: Clous Sinota (Division 3 Captain)

Post by Traca Carmesim on Sat Oct 16, 2010 12:50 pm

Please provide more in Zanpakuto description and released description, note that section is NOT for abilities.

50% faster reaction time and faster Shunpo I'm still iffy about.

Strike cant use Reishi unless you're manipulating it with your Reiryoku or Reiatsu.

You can't have 50% reaction time increase, 50% shunpo speed increase, and the ability to track movement regardless of speed. You also can't have a physical alteration with Shikai such as wings. Please remove the movement tracking eye thing and the wings.

Duel with the Clouds, does this enable you to fire down lightning at an opponent? How powerful in terms of kido # is this, if possible?

Wings of Light, this is very clunky and I don't understand any of it, please clarify it a bit more and make it more fluid to read.

You have no Kido, why?
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Re: Clous Sinota (Division 3 Captain)

Post by FallenAngel on Mon Oct 18, 2010 9:05 pm

Your shunpo speed will be based on your speed, which is really just based on what you specialize in. I don't really like the large bonus that easily. The main thing I was looking at though is your age. You are MUCH too young. We aren't accepting any child prodigies, so you need to follow the age guide.
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Re: Clous Sinota (Division 3 Captain)

Post by jannypana on Fri Jun 24, 2011 4:11 am


When lounging around his home his attire rarely differs from the shinigami uniform but at times he likes to wear mixes of white red and black.
Chanel Messenger Bags
tiffany earrings
GGucci Totes

jannypana

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Re: Clous Sinota (Division 3 Captain)

Post by yellowwater11 on Fri Jul 08, 2011 2:13 am

Hi,I'm new here.
This forum is very interesting that I like it very much.

yellowwater11

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Re: Clous Sinota (Division 3 Captain)

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