Ookami (complete) feedback is nice

Basic Information

Name: Ookami

Age: 18, is 267

Gender: male

Division: rogue shinigami

Looks: Ookami stands at 6'0 and always has a slouch with his head slighttly bent down. He bowl shaped hair that is ver messy. His eyes are bloodshot and are rarely seen.

Personality: One of the most noticable things about Ookami is that he rarely (if ever) talks. He will kill anything that stands in the way of his objective. Ookami is power hungry and bloodthirsty. When he is not fighting he is eating meat, alot of meat. He often goes into the human world or the soul society to hunt. A distant part of him was once horrified by what he has done, it is skeptical if Ookami's Conseince still exists.

Zanpakuto Information

Zanpakuto Name: Shou, and Kiba

Zanpakuto Looks: Both Zanpakuto are slightly curved 6 inch daggers with edges on both sides. Shou's blade is a glossy black and Kiba's is a dull silver

Released Zanpakuto Description: Ookami moves noticably faster as he can burn up his own reatsu to increase his speed. Kiba now burns a small measure of the opponets reatsu whenever it strikes a blow, with each succesive blow the opponet begins to feel warmer (slowly decreasing athletic and intellectual preformance, also causing them to eventually sweat profusely) to the opponet or his Zanpakuto but not objects without reatsu. It should be noted that the amount of reatsu burned by kiba would be a small factor in a fight with an opponet with large amounts of reatsu (in which case Ookami would activate Bankai), while against an enemy with a small pool of energy this effect would be devestating. Shou on each hit to an enemy or his Zanpakuto leaves a small, almost invisble, mark where it strikes that causes the enemy to use more reatsu in his abilities than he normally would (or could), while this does make the abilities more powerful, this causes the enemy to drain his amount of reatsu faster. The more marks increases the amount of reatsu that an ability uses. Again, both of these effect, while devastating on low reatsu enemys, the amount of reatsu burned and that is forced into use, would not make a large difference against a high reatsu enemy. Unless Ookami can strike many times in order to place many marks and burn his enemy There is no reason Ookami can not tap Shou on himself or Kiba to activate this effect.

Zanpakuto Release Phrase: Ookami mutters this so quietly that most cannot here but he says "Growl, Kiba", "whisper Shou"

Released Zanpakuto Looks: Kiba's blade becomes as glossy as Shou

Zanpakuto Spirit: The Zanpakuto realm of Kiba and Shou appears as a never ending plane of darkness. Kiba appears as a large silver wolf. Shou cannot be seen only heard, its voice is deep, depresing, and evil.


Bankai Information

Bankai Description: Ookami disapears, this is from blinding speed not teleportation. Kiba now is able to pass through all barriers made of reatsu. Shou now is able to pass through all physical barriers. Ookami is now immune to all kido movement impairing effects. Any wound that Ookami causes is replicated on himself.
The more Ookami s hurt the faster he is able to move. At the end of his Bankai Ookami instantly falls into a hibernation state where all his wounds are healed, the severity of the wounds increases the time spent in this state. Ookami is completely helpless when like this and can easily be coup de graced. This Bankai can last a maximum of 2 minutes

Bankai Looks: Both blades double in length. Shou's blade becomes outlined in shadow and the blade itself is not seen. Kiba appears aflame with red fire.

Alterations: The whites of Ookami's eyes become a dark red the center of them become black pits

Kido Information

Abolishing Flames (廃炎, haien?) — Fires a blast of purple fire that will incinerate a target completely when
it makes contact.

History and RP Sample

History: Ookami was once a human known as Hiro Mokemoto. Hiro entered the world in a state of war, he was born inside a burning building while his parents were hiding from the victorious army. Howver the pain of childbirth caused Hiro's mother to whimper through the leather that she was clenching her teeth on. Upon hearing this the soldiers outside rushed in to slaughter survivors. Hiro's father attempted to fight them off with a old katana but his novice skills were no match for the hardened veterans. Hiro's mother soon followed his fate. The soldiers laughed at Hiro's crying mother before killing her. They were about to move on to Hiro when a few Hollows that were taking advantage of the chaos to feed heard the babies screams. The soldiers never reported to thier commander. However Hiro was soon found by the conquering General's wife. Unable to have any children of her own, she adopted the child. As this was a terrible time for Hiro's country his parents were killed in a battle when he was 12. In an attempt to flee he ran into the forest, some soldiers followed, never to be seen again. Hiro never had to worry for food, he found freshly killed animals wherever he went. He never found wolves, only heard them. His life went on like this for 3 years. Eventually Hiro forgot his given name as no one had called him that in a long time. He decided that since no one should be without a name he gave himself the name Ookami after the animal he had never seen before. On an odd occasion Ookami found a dark cave. As nothing bad had happened to him since his parents death he decided to satisfy his curiosity and entered the cave. He went deeper and deeper inside the cave. Until eventaully night fell and he could not find his way out. He wondered for what seemed like an eternity until he suddenly found an exit. The exit opened into what was a border between a desert and forest. Since he had always found food and thrived in the forest he decided to go there. What he found was nothing like he had ever seen. The horrors that he witnessed over his next 5 weeks in the forest were so traumatic Ookami can not, will not recall them. As pure luck would have a squad of shinigami had entered this forest to see if there was anything here that could be used to combat the hollows, they would only be here for a few minutes. Not long enough to come under attack. Out of that strange dark luck Ookami seemed to have he was found by them. After having a few tests on him to confirm he was not a hollow in disguise he was taken back along with the Shinigami. The surprise was evident on all the waiting soul reapers faces as there was a 5th person coming along for the ride to the Soul Society. It was determined that he would not go back to the human world as he was dead and belonged there. SInce Ookami started to eat he was inducted to become a Shinigami. After he had graduated he quckly flew past the others to the rank of third seat. His reputation for merciless killing of hollows helped him achiev this. When in the human world on a mission to destroy a hollow he encountered numerous other trapped spirits. Even thought these spirits might have been able to go to the soul society he destroyed them as he saw them as a potential threat. While doing this he accidently activated his bankai for a few seconds because if the speed of his sluaghter. Upon his return to the Soul Society he was condemned for his actions, his punsishment death for destroying so many innocent spirits. He managed to escape due to a small hollow attack on the prison. Ookami spent the next 7 years developing his Bankai to its fullest in a spot in the Human world. He emerged from his isolation ready to take revenge on the Soul Society. Perhaps it was the shinigami that were the ones he should be eliminating not the hollows.

Rp sample:
Another cold day, Ookami hated cold days. Then he thought that cold days were kinda like death. Cold days arent so bad after all, he grins. Without the Soul Society to give him missions he took them upon himself. Today he was going hunting, for shinigami, or deer. He discretely followed a hollow that was stupid enought to leave a path of destrucution in its wake, a shinigami would be along soon enough. He didnt have to wait long. The hollow was clearly stupid so a low rank shinigami was sent to kill it. The shinigami chased after the hollow in stupid display of idiocy. Well, Ookami thought to himself, it wouldnt take much to kill this hollow. Just as the Shinigami was about to strike, Ookami yawned loudly enought to catch the shinigami and his would-be-prays' attention. "your tha-" the shinigami atempted to say as his thoat was cut by Shou. The hollow soon followed. Ookami then thought that he should leave as the Shinigami would be missed soon, but Ookami was hungry. Deer sounded good

Ookami cannot be killed in Bankai state... Er, thats sorta God mod. And your history needs to be alot longer. And you need a rp sample. xD

hmm, ill take out the cannot be killed. But ive never rped before so i cant really give a sample.
*press* I WANT THAT COOKIE GIMME MA COOKIE! *press*

Just look at other peoples apps and do your best.

~The ability to drain reiatsu is already taken
~Dont start a new line in the middle of the sentence. I see throughout your app you go about halfway through the sentence, go down to the next line, and then continue the sentence. If it reaches the end of the line and you are still in the middle of the sentence it is ok to go down to the next line to continue but you dont even get halway to the end of the line.

2 things
1. Kiba does not drain reatsu, it forces it from you, exe: a mallet hitting meat and forcing juice out
2. i wrote this on wordpad over a period of days (i dont have word) and forgive me if i couldnt get the spacing right and missed a few spots, well alot of spots, its not that hard to read.

Can you edit that retisu ability in please, and in greater detail. I think thats the only thing that needs fixed.

sure, no problem
edit:done

Unless anyone has any objections...

Approved-