Clous Sinota (Division 3 Captain)

Basic Information

Name: Clous Sinota

Age: Appears to be around late teens 18-19. Actual age 122

Gender: Male

Division: 3

Seat: Captain

Looks:

Spoiler:

Clous has white hair, with athletic features. He's about 5'9. Along with the sleeveless shinigami uniform, Clous wears two black guards on both of his wrist (which bear his clan insignia; a single feathered wing), and black Tabi boots.

His eyes are a light brown color, which actually are a more golden hue at night. His hair is usually in a messy fashion but on occasion he will spike it into some elaborate style or another. His Zanpakuto is kept on his back usually but will sometimes be switched to his left hip of his lower back at a diagonal angle. On occasion he'll wear a black Haori, while his clan insignia in white over the regular captains Haori.

If ever on a mission within the world of the living and a gigai is needed Clous' wear is fairly simple yet stylish. He's come to a liking of sleeveless hoodies and often wears a black one with a skull over the chest and two angel wings sprouting form behind the head. Other than this a white T-shirt and black jeans suffice for the rest of his attire.

When lounging around his home his attire rarely differs from the shinigami uniform but at times he likes to wear mixes of white red and black.

Allignment: Lawful Neutral

Personality: Clous seems to be cold hearted and detached from the outside world. Most of the time he acts as if he doesn't care much for others. But beneath this icy exterior he actually tries his hardest to protect those close to him, those are also the only ones he expresses himself to. His cold exterior is truly just a front considering he cares deeply for those around him. However he shows no mercy for the foolish or weak minded.

Though largely viewed as apathetic and full of pride for his family name. He is fiercely devoted to upholding law and order within the soul society and putting down all forms that attempt to disrupt peace. Be it his own personal peace, or the peace of those around him.

While most of the time he seems to be apathetic he suffers from turmoil within . When not kept in check his own personal emotions could rule over him though it rarely happens it can obviously lead to trouble. Not a strong believer of those who are outgoing or too trusting of others, he sees them as fools striving for attention. But maybe his point of view is wrong? He is extremely biased to such thoughts but who knows?


Zanpakuto Information

Zanpakuto Name: Telitsue

Zanpakuto Looks:

Spoiler:

Zanpakuto Description:
Telitsue is a lightning based zanpakuto, which stems from Clous' own soul and personality traits. The arches of his tale are embedded in his blade.



Released Zanpakuto Description:

Dijin: Allows Clous to move up to 1.5 times his own normal reaction, and shunpo speed. However the Shunpo is more of an illusion, it creates several after images of Clous which trail about foot from his actual position. This is to throw his enemy off guard. This ability is not indefinite. While in use with a released state Clous' wings serve as a counter, by dissolving in a glowing blue spiritual particle dust. As such this ability is limited. The max amount of time Clous has been able to sustain is a total of four minutes non-stop. (six posts) But Clous usually limits this to small bursts of speed when needed. (divided into two posts each use)

Strike: Clous gains the ability to convert his reitsue or surrounding reishi into lightning allowing multiple uses in battle. The longer charged the stronger the attack is. By holding onto the energy and steadily collecting and adding to it the force at which its delivered is added upon as more power is pout behind it. It's collected into the palm or various other parts of Clous' body and fired after the desired amount of energy is built.

Zanpakuto Release Phrase: Crash down from the heavens!

Released Zanpakuto Looks:

Spoiler:

A black wing grows on his left shoulder, granting Clous limited flight abilities. Also while using Dijin the wing will slowly disintegrate as a time limit of use. Clous' eyes also turn red widening his senses and allowing him to see his enemy no matter what speed they move at. However how fast he reacts to them depends on his own ability to fight

Zanpakuto Spirit:

Spoiler:

Telitsue is the regulator of Clous' inner self and keeps him in check during those rare moment when he's under too much pressure and ready to snap. He also helps Clous control his flow of reitsu while using Dijin. Which is one problem he has yet to overcome on his own.

Zanpakuto Realm:

The first is an endless dessert with countless swords scattered across the land with nothing else but more dessert in sight. The second realm is constantly at night, and this is where Telitsue resides At the center of a grass field there is a single ancient Japanese style castle. It's constantly raining, sometimes even storms a little with thunder and lightning. However the appearance of the area is shown to change depending on certain situation usually having to do with Clous' own feelings.


Bankai Information

Bankai Description: Rajin Telitsue (Thunder God Telitsue)" The blade opens and reveals its true power. Also when these wings disintegrate while using Dijin a second pair made purely of lightning replace them. But once that happens Dijin is no longer usable unless another compounding ability is activated.

Duel with the clouds: Telitsue takes the form of lightning and fires itself into the sky. from that moment Clous is able to control the lightning with a concentrated connected flow of reitsu. Usually directed with his hands, however this state can easily be broken by directly attacking and successfully injuring Clous, or just breaking his focus. In this form Dijin cannot be used at all.

Wings of Light: An automatic ability that takes place after Dijin has been used up while in bankai. Instead of instantly becoming drained Clous's black angelic wings are replaced by arches of lighting which form into wings. These can then serve multiple purposes. (Example: The forks of lightning can arch in front of him making a some form of defensive wall in front of Clous. This however has gaps in between it and any form of a higher energy than his own can break through it.

The wings of light themselves can also be used as a weapon, by weaving and arching through the air Clous can concentrate the tendrils of lightning on several targets at once greately increasing his full awareness of the area. However using this ability for extended periods of time can cause fatal damage to Clous and sometimes using it isn’t worth the risk, nor the pain that’s inflicted afterwards to his back.


Bankai Looks:

Spoiler:

Alterations: Clous is able to fire a strike without much of a limit. Four wings (one on either side) grow from Clous' back and gives him improved agility without the use of Dijin, but also increase his time limit with Dijin. (8 posts tops)

Kido:

Cannon Kido up to 89 without incantations....Wondering if I need to fill ut the form for every kido or if that's just for custom kido?))

Name: (The name of the Kido)
Type: (Hadou / Bakudo / Healing)
Number: (The number of the Kido, Higher numbers are more powerful.)
Incantation: (The incantation of the kido, saying this increases the power of the kido.)
Element: (The element of the Kido, if it has one.)
Description: ( How the kido works and what it does.)

Techniques:

Technique Name: Shunpo
Technique Type: Movement
Degree of difficulty: Expert
Description: a movement technique that allows the user to move faster than the eye can follow. The focal point that determines the bases of this technique is speed. As speed is the main point of the technique the method is best characterized by how fast one can get from point A to point B in the least amount of steps. Training and skill are what determines how fast a user of Shunpo can move; those of little skill in the technique or those who haven't used it an extended amount of time would obviously be out of practice, causing those individuals to be considerably slower, which requires the use of more steps to move the same distance and become winded far easier in a shorter amount of time

Technique Name: Utsusemi
Technique Type: Movement
Degree of difficulty: Expert
Description: It allows for a movement at great speed leaving an afterimage behind. The afterimage may even appear to have taken damage

History and RP Sample

History:

Spoiler:

RP Sample:

Spoiler:

How goes it, bro. Couple of things.

• Can you put your images in Spoiler tags? We just prefer it that way, lol. Keeps things neat.
  
• Definitely going to need more to the Personality and Looks if you're going for Captain.
  
• The Kido up to 90 without Incantations is a no go. 89 is the highest you can go in your Division. Only those in the 4th and 5th can go higher.
  
• I'm kind of on the fence about your Bankai. Not that it's not possible, but rather I question its' effectiveness. Yes, Lightning reaches the ground in nearly an instant, but many are going to be able to simply evade it with Sonido or Shunpo. Beef it up.
  

Edited

...not exactly sure how much more you want me to add. If it's not enough just let me know and I'll work on it.

*Bump

Yay or nay?

I'll have a look at this soon enough, please expect a post before the end of tomorrow.

Looks
I don't think wings are appropriate for the Bleach universe, you can add it to your release but otherwise please stick to typical human traits.

Zanpakuto Description
You can put more description into it than that.

Release

Dijin: Allows Clous to move up to 1.5 times his own normal reaction

I feel like this could be easily abused to allow you to dodge any attack that is targeted at you by simply saying that your enhanced reaction speed enables you to dodge the attack and suffer no harm which would bleed into Godmodding territory. Is there anything to ensure that won't happen?

, and shunpo speed.

Shunpo doesn't really increase in speed and have much of an effect, its a fast movement that blurs you when you move, increasing that has no real effect I could think of. If theres a specific effect your aiming for, please clarify.

(it grows with him, the faster he gets the faster Dijin gets.)

What is 'Dijin'? You haven't even mentioned that besides the technique title. And remove the growth part, it could lead to abuse by saying the Zanpakuto is faster than it was when it was approved and thats a no-go.

The max amount of time Clous has been able to sustain is a total of four minutes non-stop. (let’s just say six posts I guess)

Just make it say the max time is 6 posts and make it look more professional.

But Clous usually limits this to small bursts of speed when needed. When not used with a release Clous can only use the ability for a short amount of time given its drain. (three posts)

I'm sorry, this confuses me, how can you have a 6 post and a 3 post limit? If i'm not understanding please clarify and explain this so I can grasp what you're trying to do here.

Strike: Clous gains the ability to convert his spiritual energy into lightning allowing multiple uses in battle.

Is it natural lightning or made of reiatsu, reishi, riryoku?

The longer charged the stronger the attack is.

Please quantify this is effective Kido levels or something of the like, per post = +X effective Kido number, and what is the base amount of strength? Can you take other actions while charging your ability? How do you charge it?

Hado 4 can be added to help strengthen this. It's also rumored that kido was the inspiration for this attack.

How does Hadou #4 effect it specifically? And a Zanpakuto ability can't be inspired by a Kido, a Zanpakuto is created with its abilities so you'd have all these abilities set in stone before you even knew what Kido were.

A black wing grows on his left shoulder, granting Clous limited flight abilities. Also while using Dijin the wing will slowly disintegrate as a time limit of use. Clous' eyes also turn red widening his senses and allowing him to see his enemy no matter what speed they move at. However how fast he reacts to them depends on his own ability to fight

This needs to go in the Zanpakuto abilities, not in its physical description. All Shinigami can 'fly' without the need for wings so theres no really a point in having that ability beyond being able to fly even in high reishi environments, but I'll leave that up to you if you still want to keep it.

Bankai

However in this state Clous is unable to use Dijin.

Shikai abilities are overwhelmed by Bankai abilities so you couldn't use it anyways.

Duel with the clouds: Telitsue takes the form of lightning and fires itself into the sky.

First off, your Zanpakuto spirit shouldn't be taking a physical form without some very special conditions. Also, spirits have a gender, I wouldn't recommend addressing your spirit as an 'it', that would be a very significant bar to achieving 'Bankai' in-character. If you refer to your spirit as 'it' in your application that could spill over into roleplay and using that term I would personally come in and post in your topic to tell you your Bankai was locked for the rest of the topic for failure to grasp the basics of your Zanpakuto spirit and offending your spirit. Nip it in the bud.

from that moment Clous is able to control the lightning with a concentrated connected flow of reitsu.

Needs more detail, you're making lightning? How so? How quickly? How much? Natural or artificial? Etc.

When this happens his speed is doubled.

2x Speed...I'm rather iffy on that but I'll let it slide if there are no other objections from anyone else on the matter.

The wings of light themselves can also be used as a weapon, by weaving and arching through hte air Clous can concentrate the tendrils of lightning on several targets at once greately increasing his full awareness of the area. However Using this ability for extended periods of time can cause fatal damage to Clous and sometimes using it isnt worth the risk, nor the pain.

I understand none of this, could you please explain it to me?

Bankai; Alterations
This is for physical looks and alterations, not additional abilities, move the abilities where they belong.

RP Sample
Is that how you usually post? Thats what an RP Sample is for and I don't believe that.

Exhibit A

Exhibit B

Exhibit C

--------------------------

Spell and grammar check your whole app please also.

I'll get this done by tonight..and as for the RP sample...I can link you if you want XP infact I think I will..you can just look around the site for my posts since the place is dead now. IDK if its archived or still hanging around somewhere, best bet would be to look up my username and then ghost around my topics.

My topics at MOS

Dragon Eyes training topic/used as RP sample here

A training topic is an abnormal posting style because you have a required number of words, I did take the liberty of looking around the site and your posts didn't differ a great deal from the topics I've seen though you've increased from 1-2 paragraphs to a round-about 3 paragraphs a post. Regardless, if you insist on keeping your RP Sample as is you're aware that you will be expected to post at or around that level consistently, correct?

Yeah...I'm trying to get back into hte swing of rping like that. I used to a few years ago but for somereason I'm too direct to make things long and flashy =/ So I guess that would be more of a goal than my actual realistic daily post by post gauge...

Then please edit your RP Sample to reflect your intended average so we'll know what to expect out of you while you're posting on this site and better be able to gauge your abilities and your appropriate site placement.

Sorry about this...work/school is kicking my ass right now. Give me a little bit to get used to it and I should be back to normal activity.

When you've made the appropriate edits just let me know and I'll have another look.

Edits in work for the most part I'm simi done need to address a few things first. As for spell check that will have to wait till I'm at a comp that can use word. For somereason mine just isn't working anymore.

I'd recommend using Google Chrome if you have spelling difficulties, it will auto-correct your mistakes as well as being a very high quality browser all around, its the one I personally use.

For the most part I think I'm done.

As for those wings of light...jsut think of it as forked lightning as it comes from the sky. ONly difference s this goes up into the air and then branches out on its way back down...its more of a lag abilty. Somethign you would use if you have alot of room, othrewise its useless.

The wing thing was a change only apparent after Shikai release. He's not like that all the time. The use for the wing is explained.

As far as controling lightning with his hands, using a stream of reitsu. Thing of that puppet master jutsu style stuff. It's like that. Other than that I've toned things down, removed and edited a bit. I still need to do spell check but I'll get t othat afte reverythign else is fixed.

Alright...time to chew me out

Please provide more in Zanpakuto description and released description, note that section is NOT for abilities.

50% faster reaction time and faster Shunpo I'm still iffy about.

Strike cant use Reishi unless you're manipulating it with your Reiryoku or Reiatsu.

You can't have 50% reaction time increase, 50% shunpo speed increase, and the ability to track movement regardless of speed. You also can't have a physical alteration with Shikai such as wings. Please remove the movement tracking eye thing and the wings.

Duel with the Clouds, does this enable you to fire down lightning at an opponent? How powerful in terms of kido # is this, if possible?

Wings of Light, this is very clunky and I don't understand any of it, please clarify it a bit more and make it more fluid to read.

You have no Kido, why?

Your shunpo speed will be based on your speed, which is really just based on what you specialize in. I don't really like the large bonus that easily. The main thing I was looking at though is your age. You are MUCH too young. We aren't accepting any child prodigies, so you need to follow the age guide.

When lounging around his home his attire rarely differs from the shinigami uniform but at times he likes to wear mixes of white red and black.
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