New 10th division captain - Natzu Uzamaki

Basic Information

Name: Natzu Uzamaki

Age:
Appeared Age - 17
Actual Age - 367

Gender: Male

Division: 10th Division

Seat: Lieutenant

Looks: He has basic orange hair and black eyes. His hair is spiky and untidy. He is pale skinned, and has a pretty bulky body. His soul reaper clothes are sleevless, and his left arm is covered in dark blue bandaging. His Zanpakuto is tucked in underneath the top layer of his clothing. He has a scar running under his left eye, and a 10 tattoo on his right shoulder. He wears his Lieutenant sash on his waist, and has several peices of cloth wrapped round his waist, making a tall belt. the end of his haori is shredded and has a second white layer underneath. His legs are always bandaged due to a scar from a battle, and he has a black fingerless glove on his right hand.

Alignment: Chaos Good

Personality: He is Calm natured, at most times and is a genius. He spars a lot with his seated squad members. He sleeps most of the day, and trains at night in the shadow, giving him amazing sight, for battles. He usually takes situations calmly and uses many strategies. in battle he can go from Raging mad, to not caring at all. He prefers fighting hand to hand, as there are many ways to attack, and he uses a few kido spells to distract his opponenet.

Mask Information

Power Amplification: His Kido and physical strength rise a lot. He is also a lot faster and has razor sharp reaction and sight.

Hollow Mask Appearance: a mask like ichigos in shape, but has a spike mark going upwards through its mouth and 2 going diagonally down towards his nose, it also makes his hair a bit longer.

Duration: 8 Posts with it on. Cant use it again for 4 posts

Zanpakuto Information

Zanpakuto Name: Tamoray

Zanpaktou Theme: Dragon. fire, and strength

Unreleased Zankpaktou Appearance a basic thin zanpakuto, its guard is x shaped when looking down the blade, and has a chain coming out of the bottom of the hilt.

Zanpakuto Release Phrase: Unleash, TAMORAY

Released Zanpakuto Looks: a thin black blade with jagged edge. the end is still a blade yet shaped like a dragon head. Also He gets a light metal glove on his entire left forearm. It emnates with dark blue energy and flames

Released Zanpaktou Abilities: It has the ability to release blasts of flames and energy from his glove in a move called teshino. and his sword can stretch and curve to great lengths. His blade can release a roar called Hiroto, capable of smashing anything within a 500 metre radius. He can also form a shield of dark Blue energy, called philosino.

Zanpakuto Spirit: He is a young boy the same age appearance as Natzu, and has a bulky body, wearing tight short sleeved clothes, and baggy black trousers, 2 thick leather straps going over his tight red shirt.

Zanpakuto Realm: A rocky area, Many huge platforms of rocks float in the air, and a strong wind lives here.


Bankai Information


Bankai Name: Giga Tamoray

Bankai Looks: His entire left arm and both shoulders are covered in steal padding and are covered in Dark Blue flames. his sword turns into a dragon shaped guard with a long wide blade sticking out the mouth.

Bankai Description: His bankai instantly crushes the ground nearby, and may cause a rverse in gravity for the ground, making the area float in the air. He has the ability to use flames from his arm at will, and manipulate them for himself. He can use philosino to trap his opponent in a cage of flames and fill it with flames burning all on the inside. Tenshino can be shot from his sword as well, and Hiroto sends of waves of energy. He sword grows bigger and bigger with every hit, and if big enough will transform to chains with sharp big dragon heads and flowing with fire.

Kido:

N/A

Techniques:

Technique Name: Tenshino
Technique Type: Energy
Degree of difficulty: Beginner
Description: shoots off a basic beam of energy from his shikai's glove. it becomes several beams while in bankai

Technique Name: Hiroto
Technique Type: Sensory
Degree of difficulty: Intermediate
Description: A devastating roar from his blade capable of smashing even the strongest metal, in bankai it becomes waves of energy

Technique Name: Philosino
Technique Type: Defense/Counter
Degree of difficulty: Beginner/Expert
Description: While in shikai creates a basic wall of flames. When in Bankai, he can trap the enemy in a flame cage and incinerate all inside

Technique Name: Gisoro
Technique Type: Energy
Degree of difficulty: Beginner
Description: Swings his blade upwards while in bankai to cause huge columns of flames to erupt.

Technique Name: Rain of Inferno
Technique Type: (Movement, Zanjutsu, Sensory, etc.)
Degree of difficulty: Master
Description: Can only be used in bankai. he sends o wave of flame into the sky, and by swing his sword downwards he can cause huge fireballs to come down.


History and RP Sample

History: Natzu lived an ordinary life, until at the age of 12 he was killed in a massive fire. He was reborn in Rukongai where he stole from the merchants and beat the bandits who tried to steal from his camp. When he had first entered rukongai, he was instantly assaulted by bandits shoving him down and taking his money, but he had none, and was tossed into a shed where he was locked inside. A few days later a few boys went to the shed for refuge, when some bandits came. They were the same bandits that had locked Natzu in there on his first day, but natzu and the other boys attacked, Natzu showing signs of high spiritual energy. With the bandits dealt with, Natzu joined the boys and followed them to a camp on the border of a forest. He was suprised at the amount of people there and was instantly given food and a bed. He lived there for a few decades, the strangers in the camp becoming his family.

Suddenly the hollows came, a few hollows had gained entrance to rukongai with the help of an arrancar, Natzu and the others in the camp fought back, killing the majority of the hollows, the others fled to a forest. The arrancar then came to the remaining 5 of them. Natzu fought, but he was no match the others were killed and natzu would be as well, but a huge amount of spiritial energy erupted from him driving the arrancar back. the soul reapers then came and saw the dead hollows and the weakened arrancar which they executed. They were impressed with Natzu who just stared at the bodies of his friends. The soul Reapers spent a day trying to get Natzu to move on, but it didn't work. Soon it was time ofr them to return to seretei, ands they offered a place in the Academy to Natzu. Natzu agreed wanting to have revenge on the arrancar and hollows. He passed the exams in a year, and went into 10th division with his fire skills, already after a month he was 4th seat, and slowly throughout the next few months Natzu became 3rd seat then lieutenant. He was instantly popular with the other soul reapers, only the other lieutenants would spar with him, as the others were afraid.

He began going on missions to the human world where he protected humans from many hollows. He then met an espada. The espada was wreaking havoc in a town wanting to gather imformation on any captains they would send out. The captain of 10th division was busy so Natzu stepped in fighting the espada. But the espada had subdued him and Natzu fled to Urahara kisuke. Urahara trained him for a week, and after removing his soul reaper powers then regaining them he became a vizard and began mastering his mask. He then found the Espada again attacking the people again. Natzu stepped in and subdued him thanks to his mask, but his time ran out and his mask disappeared, and Natzu was easily subdued, but then something rose in Natzu and he entered Bankai. with his bankai he defeated the espada, and returned to soul society, where his Captain praised him for his amazing skill, and he was given a choice of next missions. He chose Karakura Town, where he is currently based, he wanted to fight arrancars and the one place they travel through is karakura town. He is Currently in Karakura high school, and is using a gigai, he is still in the first year.

RP Sample: As the huge dark blue Cero rushed towards Natzu, he entered his shikai "Unleash Tamoray!!" he said as his left hand was covered in a steel gauntlet charged with flames, and his sword became jagged and dragon shaped at the top. He ducked below the beam of energy, it just about grazing his forehead, a thin trickle of blood running down. Natzu had been fighting for a while with the arrancar, and was panting heavily "*pant* *pant* Is that all you got, im not even started *pant* *pant*. Tenshino!" Natzu shouted raising his gloved hand as a huge beam of energy shot out surging towards the arrancar. He used Shunpo to dash behind the arrancar, "my next skill. HOLLOWIFICATION!!" Natzu said placing his hand on his own face, and huge torrents of dark blue energy blasted of his face, and formed into his skull shaped, 3 spiked mask, his hair glowing slightly longer. "Now that this is done, i can kill you. HIROTO" Natzu said raising his blade as huge roars erupted attempting to knock the arrancar backwards into the oncoming Tenshino "I am the 10th division lieutenant Natzu Uzamaki!!! And while Wielding Tamoray I will Exterminate pathetic arrancar like you!!!" He shouted as he ripped his mask off, and watched to see the results of his attacks.

This app, is, ultimately, not to the quality we demand of captains. Your rp sample needs to be significantly longer (3 X that length.) and you would have to post that as a bare minimum every time. The minimum age a captain could have is 350 as well. You need to add more to history, to looks to personality... Hell, you need to add more to EVERYTHING. I would strongly suggest not trying to get this checked again until everything is at least 2-3 times its current length, or bump down and make a lieutenant application instead.

I just...I don't even...I would highly recommend just scraping this and trying again with something else with more detail and more thought put into the application.

well i guess i can downgrade him

im not really good with personality, and i could maybe add his life in rukongai,

i'll do them in a minute

An easy way to do this, is to look for examples on another person's character application and get advices for what do add. That's how my application is pretty long.

okay, right now im busy with my own site, but thanks for the tips

UPDATED

Please see the alignment post HERE.

Little bit more on looks. I don't mind personality if you summarize it clearly.

Appeared of age of 14... For a 367 years old, is quite too much in my honest opinion. I'll say around the late 10's or early 20's.

okay, thanks i'll do it straight away

I intend to fully check this application in the near future, though I should point out it will be extensive and you may not like it, that aside your signature is too long so you should probably adjust that.

okay sorry i'll edit that

Okay, lets get this started...

Age
Please check the sites age guide.

Rank
[Tenth Division Requires DayDreamer's Permission]

In addition the Captain rank you applied for initially wasn't even open, so please read our rules before you throw up an application here.

Alignment
Chaos Good is not an alignment, its called Chaotic Good.

Personality: He is Calm natured, at most times and is a genius. He spars a lot with his seated squad members. He sleeps most of the day, and trains at night in the shadow, giving him amazing sight, for battles. He usually takes situations calmly and uses many strategies. in battle he can go from Raging mad, to not caring at all. He prefers fighting hand to hand, as there are many ways to attack, and he uses a few kido spells to distract his opponenet.

Okay, if you're calm natured why would you spar a lot with other squad members? How are you a genius and in what aspects? Are you calm in battle or only socially? Having exceptional night vision would be a trait to note elsewhere, not in your personality as it has nothing to do with how you operate socially or mentally. How does he use 'many strategies'? Combat strategies are kind of a one shot deal, having multiple will bog your mind down and I suspect that this is just a note to be able to meta-game other characters by saying 'he saw it coming' which is a no-go.

How does he go from mad to not caring? Why is 'Raging' capitalized? If he prefers hand to hand why doesn't his Zanpakuto represent this and why does he not have any hand-to-hand skills listed in your abilities? Of course there are many ways to attack, what does this statement have to do with your personality? If he only relies minimally on Kido that means he at least has some, and you have none, so whats with that?

Vizard
I'm just going to straight up deny you for Vizard rank. I don't believe you're appropriate for the rank at all, but assuming somebody overrides such a denial let me go over your mask data here...

Power Amplification: His Kido and physical strength rise a lot. He is also a lot faster and has razor sharp reaction and sight.

Okay, your personality says you don't rely on Kido, why would you mask strengthen them? You don't even have any kido in the first place. How much does your physical strength increase by? How much faster? How much does your reaction time increase and how and by how much does your sight increase?

Hollow Mask Appearance: a mask like ichigos in shape, but has a spike mark going upwards through its mouth and 2 going diagonally down towards his nose, it also makes his hair a bit longer.

Detail the masks appearance better, maybe some of us don't know how Ichigo's masks looks, but its more likely that Ichigo has more than one mask appearance so you should probably specify which by clarifying what it looks like and without mentioning a Canon character since any references to them are not allowed on this site anyways. Also your mask cannot increase the length of your hair, a mask is a mask.

Duration: 8 Posts with it on. Cant use it again for 4 posts

This depends on how you edit your mask data above or if this is even outright denied to you as I want it to be.

Anyways, onto your Zanpakuto...

Zanpaktou Theme: Dragon. fire, and strength

Dragons already symbolize both fire and strength, so this is redundant.

Unreleased Zankpaktou Appearance a basic thin zanpakuto, its guard is x shaped when looking down the blade, and has a chain coming out of the bottom of the hilt.

No. Your unreleased Zanpakuto must resemble a katana or a short-sword, basically any basic sword shape would do, but you cannot have a chain coming out of it. Basics only for unreleased.

Zanpakuto Release Phrase: Unleash, TAMORAY

Um, why is the Zanpakuto's name in caps? Looks very unprofessional.

Released Zanpakuto Looks: a thin black blade with jagged edge. the end is still a blade yet shaped like a dragon head. Also He gets a light metal glove on his entire left forearm. It emnates with dark blue energy and flames

Okay, heres how this works, if you specialize in hand-to-hand, why wouldn't your Zanpakuto release into a fist, or a guard, or a gauntlet, or a dagger? Secondly, how does the blade look like a dragon head and yet still be a blade? You're going to have to explain that one to me. Thirdly, how much energy is released? What is it made out of? Reiryoku, reiatsu, fire? What does the energy do if contacted? Is it only on the guard or on the sword? Does it hurt you if you touch it or an opponent touches it?

It has the ability to release blasts of flames and energy from his glove in a move called teshino. and his sword can stretch and curve to great lengths. His blade can release a roar called Hiroto, capable of smashing anything within a 500 metre radius. He can also form a shield of dark Blue energy, called philosino.

All of these abilities need to individually described first off. Secondly, what energy is released with the fire? How is it released, like in what shape, how quick, what does it look like, etc.? What is the shield made out of? How strong is said shield? How large?

And I think you need to understand what 500 meters is because you clearly assume this is tolerable for a shinigami to have for their Shikai release. That is nearly 5 football field in radius, can you comprehend how large that is? Not to mention it can smash anything in that radius? No. Denied. Period.

Bankai Looks: His entire left arm and both shoulders are covered in steal padding and are covered in Dark Blue flames. his sword turns into a dragon shaped guard with a long wide blade sticking out the mouth.

See above concerning your Shikai appearance.

His bankai instantly crushes the ground nearby, and may cause a rverse in gravity for the ground, making the area float in the air. He has the ability to use flames from his arm at will, and manipulate them for himself. He can use philosino to trap his opponent in a cage of flames and fill it with flames burning all on the inside. Tenshino can be shot from his sword as well, and Hiroto sends of waves of energy. He sword grows bigger and bigger with every hit, and if big enough will transform to chains with sharp big dragon heads and flowing with fire.

No, denied, all of this denied, this is OP. You destroy everything nearby when you release, you somehow reverse gravity inside of the earth which is completely unrelated to your Zanpakuto, you make fire that you can manipulate freely, you can access Philosino even though you haven't even mentioned maintaining your Shikai abilities, you can cage an opponent in and then incinerate them completely, and your sword gets bigger everytime you hit someone and then transforms into flaming dragon-headed chains? No, just no.

All of your techniques are abilities of your Zanpakuto and thus should be detailed up there, not in your Techniques section.

Now to your history...

Natzu lived an ordinary life, until at the age of 12 he was killed in a massive fire.

Thats all you have for your life as a human being? You definitely need to add more to this. What was your job? Did you have a family? What happened to you that was significant in your life? What caused the fire? etc.

He began going on missions to the human world where he protected humans from many hollows. He then met an espada. The espada was wreaking havoc in a town wanting to gather imformation on any captains they would send out.

This is inaccurate, no Espada are randomly parading around terrorizing people, thats just not how they work here because I would personally have their heads taken off for such ridiculous behavior.

But the espada had subdued him and Natzu fled to Urahara kisuke. Urahara trained him for a week, and after removing his soul reaper powers then regaining them he became a vizard and began mastering his mask.

There are no Canon characters here, Urahara doesn't exist.

And your RP Sample is most definitely not up to the standards of the position you want.

................WOAH

well im going to leave the site, im on other sites and i have exams so i dont have time to go on here
sorry to waste your time