Yousei Murakami (Lieutenant of 8th)

Mhm, anything that increases dexterity beyond 30 isnt allowed. and as this is a WIP, i see no reason why you cannot edit that.

Alright. Changed Division and added Bankai here with changed stats to fit current system (stats also changed in Bankai app).

1st technique: Spirit Grip - After getting opponents attention, Yousei will raise Yozora's blade and force his opponent into their inner realm (where lives their Zanpakuto). There he'll be able to imprison his opponent which would lead to opponents uncouciousness in real, or Yousei could imprison opponent's Zanpakuto which would lead to temporal loss of opponent's Zanpakuto abilities, Shikai or Bankai. If target is not Shinigami, it would lead to their uncousiousness. Temporal loss of power lasts for 2 posts. To leave target uncousious, Yousei must be 2 ranks above his opponent (that can be counted by their stat points). Has 5 post cool down.

Alright. This is pretty much a no. all they need to do is look at your sword and you can either drop them unconcious or seal their Zanpaktou? Not gonna happen.

2nd technique: Night Wind - Yousei would swing Yozora to create a wind blast that slices almost anything 100 meters ahead of him.

Stamina Drain needed. Im not going to approve "slices almost anything 100 meters ahead" as thats too weak a description for such a technique.

3rd technique: Falling Star - Yousei would stab Yozora into the ground to create explosion equal to 88 Hadou's in the certain targeted area. Distance of this technique is distance of Yousei's vision. He can cast the explosion in any area, which is visable for him.

You stab your sword in the ground, and then cause an explosion elsewhere? I want a better range on that, not just what you can see. Cause you could see a mountain and explode it if you wanted, but such an effort would be a massive stamina drain. Which you also need for this technique. PLUS this attack does not fit in with your other Shikai or Bankai attacks honestly. Neither does the second one, but thats different.

Spirit Grip.
You understood it right, more or less. But I believe you missed two things. Only shinigami will get their Zanpakuto sealed (I now realise it's a bit too much, I'll try to think of some limit for it). Another thing is that of power difference - I can only force unconcious those who have 75 or less stat points, excluding humans (effects only non-special humans because they have least stats) and excluding Espada (effects only 1st and 2nd lvl Arrancars).

Now, the others. There's no need to edit those. I get your point that these techniques are out of range of my Zanpakuto type. In that case, could I switch them with technique I requested for my Shikai? I mean Mirage and Soul Weakening.

this is a WIP, you may change what needs to be changed in order to get this approved, but keep in mind that there will need to be limitations, etc.

Alright.
Added Soul Weakening, Mirage as Shikai techniques.
Edited Falling Star and Spirit Grip.

Alright, here's a big issue I have. You are a VICE Captain and all you have are Master and Expert level techs for your SHIKAI. Now, I could understand having an Expert level for a trump card but you need to lower your standards.

ok. New techniques (Soul weakening and Mirage) lowered to advanced and old ones (Spirit Grip and Falling Star) lowered to expert.

Bump?

Second bump......

Ummm, after reading your history (Which is lacking) I realized that you stated that you were born a Shinigami which I don't think is... likely.

There isn't much info about shinigami being born, apart that I found one sentence in Wiki which says "Sometimes, a Shinigami is born among the residents of the Rukongai, and in some rare cases from Seireitei." But what I know right, is that Shinigami that remembers his life in real world before death is even more uncommon than being born shinigami. Yet, I've found many of shinigami app with Shinigami-born characters.

I also see you saying that my history is lacking. I guess that's because my character was born Shingami and I didn't explain his life in real world.... anyway, if needed, I can add one more para with recent events in my history.

For the history, just describe your time in Soul Society/Rukongai/Academy a bit more. Maybe another 3 paragraphs or so.

Ok, a bit expanded my history, but not much. The problem is that my character is from Seireitei, he has no Rukongai arc. Also, most time of Shinigami's life is training... and that's not much to write about.

Hope this suits.

bump?

Don De La Mc Bumper von Bump.

b u m p

bump

5th Bump... this is getting somewhere... really.

I do believe we already denied spirit grip. I distinctly remember going over that technique and I do believe it was denied. PM me with the link if I am wrong though.

Hinotama is fine.

Mirage is iffy. You say one post cooldown, but then 3 and 5 post cooldowns. To be honest, I do not want the ability to avoid any physical attack/counter or avoid a large majority of the kido to go on for 2-3 consecutive posts. Yes VC and third seats can use level 76+ kido, but at a great stamina drain, which would ake your character nearly invulnerable for 2-3 posts unless the person you would be fighting uses a very stamina draining kido. So either the stamina drain gets increased, the post length reduced, or the technique removed.

Soul Weakening is going to be a no. Need max dexterity to block/dodge it in the first place? For a Shikai technique? Along with draining 2-3 stamina depending on your form, and can be used once a turn. Let alone you need level 60+ kido to block it with a high speed and only high strength can reduce the stamina drain by half.

For a Shikai technique, that is way too powerful. Either edit it, or remove it.

Alright.
Toned down Mirage kido list, no repeated uses (simply 3 p. cooldown) and stamina drain.
Soul Weakening is now avoidable and no high stats are needed (it's still unblockable).
Spirit Grip replaced by Spiritual Negation.

bump

Alright, with Negation, I personally think that being able to nearly fully block level 75 kido, and halve the damage recieved by up to level 90 is too much.

What I would do is halve, or even reduce by maybe 10 kido levels up to level 80-85 ish at the 5 stamina drain. For up to level 70 id say knock down the damage by 15 kido levels, at 4 drain. and to about 55ish knock it down by 15 levels at a 3 stamina drain. Thats me personally though. Ill double check with another staff member to see their opinion on this when I can.

Edited as we agreed.

Approved